I went to a party on Saturday with my boyfriend... We're both 17 and we've been dating for a month... At the party he was drinking, but I was driving so I didn't drink much...
After he'd had a few beers, he started trying to feel me up in front of everyone at the party, I wasnt comfortable with it so I tried to stop him... Over the course of the night I told him to stop at least 10 times, and I physically pushed him away from me at least 10 times... At one point I tried to just walk away from him and he grabbed me and pulled me back so I couldnt leave...
This isnt the first time he's been a bit forceful but it's by far the worst... He's also more forceful and aggressive when he's drunk...
He appologized on Sunday when I was really mad at him...
Should I be worried this is going to lead to abuse or violence?
Is there something else I can do to stop him?
Is it a bad sign that he's more forceful and agressive when he's been drinking?
Answer:
Yes it is a red flag for abuse and violence. Most younger men seem to be about that age when they start abusing their girlfriends. It is very scary and y ou need to think of breaking off the relationship or at least getting him into counseling.
What about his homelife? Good family or a broken home?
There is only two things you can do...
1. Break it off
or
2. get him into counseling ASAP!!
Good luck!
first off his too young to be drinking and secondly you shouldnt be dating someone whos does that to you! be careful! maybe find someone better who wont hurt you.
be carefull, my ex used to do the same thing to me, we also started going out when i was 17 and it was sweet at first but then stuff like that started, and it got worse, i dont want to get into detail on here but if u want to talk feel free to email me malissa_14@yahoo.com,
It's a bad sign as far as his drinking habits go. Hopefully drinking isn't something he likes to do a lot. If so, then I would be concerned for your safety.
He is very aggressive and needs to be alarmed of the consequences of his drinking. They could be hurting or losing you, and it doesn't sound like he wants to lose you.
Let him know that he may need to give up drinking, or leave it at one beer at a time. Otherwise I would definitely be worried for your safety. Please be careful.
Best of luck.
Uh oh! not good. try avoiding if possible parties and such that involve alcohol, because alcohol sounds like the real problem here.tell him you don't like it when he drinks, and if he doesn't listen, leave him. :(
If your 17 , why are you drinking anyway, how did you get it because its illegal for an adult to be alcohol for kids. Have Fun Ruining Your Liver! :p
While neither drinking or the use of drugs are signs of an abusive personality, heavy drinking or drug abuse may be a warning sign and do increase the risks of abuse, especially violence, taking place. Often an abusive person will blame the drink for his/her abuse. However, a person who, knowing there is a risk he/she could be violent when drinking or on drugs, chooses to get drunk or high, is in effect choosing to abuse.
An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his/her hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout 'right in your face'. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that actual violence is a strong possibility.
He is already showing you abuse and violence.
Break up with him now.
This is not the first time he has drank and hurt you. It won't be the last. Leave him before he kills you because he will.
Don't give in to his "sorries". You can do better than this abusive relationship.
If he's already getting drunk at 17, it'll only get worse. If he's trying to feel you up in front of everyone, he has absolutely no respect for you. You'd do well to get rid of him. He may only be abusive when he's drunk, but that's enough to know you don't need to be with him. You deserve someone who will treat you better than that.
The drinking and the physical force concerns me. It's early enough to get away from him pretty easily. Seriously, you are smart to to be asking these questions. Not only is it a bad sign that he is forceful when he drinks, it sounds like he drinks to get drunk and that in a one month period this has happened more than once. Please be sensible and break up with him. Also, I want you to not drink at all when you're driving. Seventeen is too young for drinking, but driving after drinking is stupid at any age.
I'm sorry to say Hun but you just answered your own question!
If you are doubting yourself why are you in the relationship!
Sounds exactly like me and my ex-boyfriend. We used to get drunk and knock the **** out of each other, over any stupid little thing. I was so in love w/him, my bf when we weren't drinking we were a great couple. Get out before you fall even more for him, PLEASE. Trust me on this, I feel for you.
This is not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It's an entanglement.
It's already abusive, never mind could it become abusive.
And given you're both underage drinkers, this is already seriously bad enough for both of you to get counseling.
Statistically, you're both headed for a breakup, only to hook up with similar partners and do this all over again. Break the cycle early, like now.
sweetheart,
this is the biggest red flag warning that i have ever seen! And yes it is a bad sign that he's more forceful and agressive when he's been drinking. It sounds to me like he wants to isolate you from your friends and what's with all the phone calls??
This behavior can only lead to abuse and/or violence so my advice to you is to break up with him before you get in too deep. And also the feeling up behavior is totally unhealthy...
it's like he doesn't respect you if you have to tell him 10 times to stop and then he doesn't.
Please, please get out now while you can.there is nothing good about this relationship.it can only get worse. I wish you the best of luck and may God bless and keep you safe in the future.
i agree it sounds like your not in a really healthy relationship but maybe breaking up with him will get him even MORE on your case I'd say try breaking up with him and if he asks why tell him the truth and if that doesn't work go to the main office at your high school and tell them that he has been calling you and how he won't get away from you but first make sure you have an adult you trust((I pick my mom to tell these things to, but we're tight)) anyways talk to that person and tell them what is going through your mind tell them about how you went drinking and even if you get in trouble it could just maybe save your life chica!
XOXO hope all goes well and im so sorry to hear about this!
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